Idiots In Motion Tend To Stay In Motion...
It's not often I get to prove one of Newton's laws correct, gravity notwithstanding. Now before you all panic, I did not sustain any lasting brain trauma or a concussion. And before I go any further, I'd like to add that I can't entirely be called an idiot for this one: I didn't see the wall.
In an effort to defend myself (I fear an already futile battle), let me explain: we were walking down the hallway of our apartment complex, having just taken Shady outside. I've made a habit of racing Shady down the corridor to see who can reach our door first. From there, Mel & I have Shady race back and forth between us for a few minutes to help vent her extra energy.
Shady's come to expect this, and will start off in a half-run, looking back at me to see if I'm picking up the pace. She will in fact sulk if I don't race her. So this time around, despite being a bit tired, I took off after her. Soon enough I was in the lead, and Shady was happily chasing after me.
Once we reached our apartment door, I turned around and began running backwards for a bit to further encourage Shady to follow. That way it gives more distance for her to run between Mel & I. So there I was, running backwards.
Then there was this sudden stop, which was accompanied by what could best be described as a "WHAM!"
Once my head, my hip and the rest of me had finished bouncing off this unexpected solid substance, I staggered towards Mel in utter surprise. I turned back, saw that the corridor had ended without notifying me beforehand, and announced, "There's a wall here!"
Alas, Mel was not very sympathetic. Once she finished leaning against the wall amidst peals of laughter, she sadly admitted that as she saw me heading for the wall, her only thought was, "I wonder if he realises he's about to hit...nevermind."
So here I sit, feeling a little like an explorer who discovered that the end of the world does in fact mean pitching over a giant waterfall into oblivion. Behind me, Mel's going through a few boxes filled with plushies and stuffed animals from her childhood that her father brought up. She's also making ridiculous demands of me, like stating in no uncertain terms I have to hug her enomous troll doll. And her Littlefoot the dinosaur plushie. And now I apparently have to kiss Dumbo.
I'm not sure what's more surreal: running backwards into a wall, or arguing with my wife about hugging her stuffed animals. At the very least a camera isn't involved. I fear the blackmail I'd be subjected too if someone snapped a shot of me hugging that damned troll doll....
After reading that last sentence over my shoulder, Mel adds "Heeey!" rather indignantly. And clobbered me with either a pillow or Littlefoot.
She just hit me again. Upon checking it was the pillow. She's hit me twice with the pillow now.
And now a Tweety plushie. At this rate, I might sustain heavy trauma to whatever's left of my brain.
Today's Lesson: plushies can be hazardous to your health. So can walls, for that matter.
posted by Phillip at 7:30 PM
